Letter of Reclamation

Letter of Reclamation

“Dear Belzeb Inc.,

I recently acquired one of your “Fun tailed companion” in order to entertain and enlighten my private parties. I am not satisfied at all by your product that failed to provide any conversation of interest but high pitched screams and ate most of the buffet, the chandelier, the curtains and two of my guests. Since then it keeps gnawing on my head and quite frankly I think I developed quite the headache.

I hereby request a refunding and the means to exorcise the not fun at all tailed companion you’ve send me.

Yours sincerly,

Lord Gilluble, 43th Oak street, Boston, Massachusetts.“

Pencil doodle on A6 sketchbook

***

“Cher Belzeb Inc.,
J’ai fait l’acquisition récente de l’un de votre Joyeux Drille à Longue Queue afin d’égayer et revitaliser les parties que j’organise en ma modeste maisonnée. Je ne suis pas satisfait du tout de votre produit qui échoue complètement à fournir la moindre conversation intelligible, persiste à hurler de manière aiguë en continue, a dévoré l’intégralité du buffet, le chandelier, mes rideaux et deux de mes invités. Depuis lors, il persiste à me mâchouiller la tête au point que j’en ai conçu une migraine carabinée.
Par la présente, je vous demande donc un remboursement et un exorcisme express de ce Pas Joyeux Drille du Tout.
Très cordialement,
Lord Crudéle, 43 rue du Chêne, Boston, Massachusetts.”

Criterium sur carnet A6

Untitled

Just a maid -24- Mr Crow

Dear Mr.[smudged]

My name is Phineas Jollybottom. You may not know me, and I apologize for writing you on such a short notice. I am a field zoologist from the Miskatonic university, and I frequently pass by your property while investigating the local fauna. It has come to my attention that one of the cordivae currently roaming in your vicinity exhibit the most peculiar behavior. I consulted with Dr. Armitage, a colleague of mine and we strongly suspect some extraneous influence on the cognitive ability of this specimen.

With your permission, we would like to investigate further and try to capture it for further investigations, Could we arrange a visit from our team to set up some traps around your property? I guaranty you the least intrusive models we have in stock and the utmost discretion from our workers. I took the liberty to join this letter the details of my research on this strange specimen behavior to show you our good will and faith in your interest in science.

Yours sincerly,

Phineas Jollybotton, Pr.

Pencil Doodle on A6 sketchbook for Just a Maid, a story about Martha, maid in a strange house